I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
