you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My dick has a subreddit
Is Oprah even human
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
