Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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