She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
