Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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