I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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