She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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