The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
