Plan B is the new Plan A
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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