I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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