my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
birth control should be required to get into college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
