time to smoke my breakfast
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
