Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize