They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
