guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize