if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
