we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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