Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
