I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
