I got chris browned last night
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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