There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
