I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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