While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
