so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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