i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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