If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
