nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
