i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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