Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
