Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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