Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
