Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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