Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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