Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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