Apparently you make a good broom.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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