He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
