I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This is my gift to your gina
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
