Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
