Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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