i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
