ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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