i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
