she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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