why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
