Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All the doctor said was why
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
