Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
