Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
