THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
