i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
