thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Did I show you my penis last night?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
