There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
