i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I am midnight drunk by noon
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
God, I missed his penis.
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