I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
