cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
