why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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