Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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