i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
