I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
