I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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