Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize