Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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