I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
