Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
