A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize