haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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