if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
