All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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