she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
