I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
