i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
