Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
