you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
