God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
