I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
