This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
