My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
