Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
