My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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